>taken August 2 2005<
Saturday we had a swimming party for Stirling, he had a blast and wants to go again soon. Who knew Millennium Place was so child oriented, it was the perfect place. When I called them originally inquiring about what they offered and all the woman said was - 'We have a wave pool' - a little vague if you ask me. Didn't sound very small child oriented but once we got there we discovered it was perfect. Three kids in PFDs and they had a blast. Stirling wouldn't leave the "water-works" it looked like a train. Funny he can handle all the water in the eyes/face from that, but still freaks when I wash his hair or try to have him shower to save time. We all came back here for hot dogs and cupcakes (I did cake on Thursday for him, his actual birthday).
He has so much to do with all of his new toys, it's been hard to get him to nap. He's averaging a nap a week right now, which is very tiring with a two month old. Don't get me wrong, her one feeding at night is great, but the three hours it can take to get her back to bed afterward is what tires me. He's having a nap today - so I guess the rest of the week I can write off.
I can't believe it's already been three years! If you block out all of the "bad" moments in parenting, I would really love to have more, but we will see what my OB thinks tomorrow. My six week appointment is tomorrow (four weeks late I might add), hopefully she will tell me I can have more. The hemorrhaging from the last one has David concerned of what could happen with the next, and the idea of that scares me too. The idea of not being able to have more kids makes me want to cry. I almost get depressed when I think about it. At the same time I don't want to risk loosing what I already have; it's very hard for me, you know.

>taken November 22 2007<

After the tea party for Madison, on Tuesday, I went to fold the mound of laundry sitting on my bed. Madison was tired and I laid her on the bed while I folded. She found her thumb...she was so happy. Not a fist, not an odd finger, be her thumb, I was very impressed, and then she lost it and hasn't found it since. She was so content for about ten seconds and then it was gone. Both David and I have tried to assist in the thumb sucking, but haven't had any luck. I know that it promotes bad teeth, but it wouldn't mean having to run from her when she is in one of her sucking moods. Someone should invent a baby safe double-sided tape that could be used to keep the soother in place. Something that the baby could spit out when it wanted to.
The next day she started drinking six to seven ounces at a feeding; sometimes finishing all eight. Which means she is almost sleeping through the entire night already; yahoo! Her sleeping habits seem to revolve around how many ounces she eats; and she's wanting to eat all of this. She seems to want more after an entire bottle at times; once she gets weighed at her two month boosters at the end of the month we will see if she needs to go on cereals already. She's got a long body to maintain; already two pounds and inch gained in a month, her metabolism is probably needing it.
It was my friend's son's second birthday on Saturday. It was a hectic weekend. I got my haircut before I came back to the house to grab the kids and head out of town to the party. Hubby being sick, I managed pretty well. For awhile, Stirling was running around with his arse hanging out of his pants; got to love the pants with the retractable waistband - too bad I didn't realize one side had come undone until much later on in the party, and several pant hikes later. Once it was fixed he held together for the rest of the party thank you.
Sunday was family pictures, too bad the boy decided to make that day his rough day right from the moment he got out of bed. What would possess a department store to have the toy section located right next to the portrait studio? Talk about worst idea ever. The moment we walked in the store and we got to the toy isles (which were completely unavoidable) he had a meltdown. Every toy he wanted; the screaming was on. I'm thankful that he stopped crying long enough for the pictures to be taken. Then David had to leave the store with him pinching, screaming and hitting all the way to the car, while I stood in line waiting to pay for the pictures. Overall, it was a very long stressful event that I would sooner gouge my eyes out of my head next time then do again. I'm researching department stores next time, and will use the one with the toy section furthest away from the portrait studio in the future. I will also make sure that Stirling is well fed - our time slot was the worst (12:15), but it was the only one I could get before our Smilesaver membership expired today. I think we got a good replacement shot taken for over the fireplace mantle, but for some reason I think the shot made me look very overweight.....which is strange because in the mirror anywhere I look thin, maybe I remembered wrong. Oh well there is always next year's picture.

After having such a slow two thirds of October the last third and continuing on into this month my calender has spawned into a big blue nightmare. Well, I suppose it's not entirely a nightmare per say; however, it is becoming overrun with many appointments and parties already. I finally decided on a date for a non-baby shower. Most of the people coming have already given gifts and I certainly didn't want them to feel obligated to bring another. I'm calling it a "tea" that way friends and family can spend sometime with us and meet Madison if they haven't already and just have a relaxed morning with goodies and refreshments. I'm sure it will be fairly laid back, if not boring (I hope not).
We decided on a trip to the pool and some refreshments back at the house afterwards for Stirling's birthday. We plan to do something small, most likely the four of us on the evening of his birthday and go all out on the weekend with some of his friends. Not a huge party in any means, unfortunately none of the kids (or parents)from daycare have been in touch with Stirling. He talks about daycare and the teachers there, he obviously misses it. How one can afford daycare on a third of your salary I'll never know. It would be interesting to see if I could get him back in part time just so he can hang out with his friends again and get the social exposure he needs. Mommy is admittedly boring; for the last two weeks he's watched me sew more then he has in all his life. He loves playing outside with the dog, but it's cold lately and he doesn't last as long. We like to bake together, and he likes painting and play-doh, so there's a good variety of things I suppose. I guess I'm just not as good at the imaginary while playing farm or trains. I think I'm just too tired.
I'm so tired lately I've almost given up on breastfeeding. Madison just doesn't seem to be into it I suppose; it's more of a fight/argument with the process. Not to be graphic but a sex life would be nice too without the "leakage" and the very unappealing bra that goes with it. She seems to be very happy and content with her formula feedings, which are much quicker and less evasive. I can start and stop the bottle much easier than the latter. Her pediatrician says she is developing quite well, very strong and ahead of her development. She has already gained two pounds putting her at 11lbs. 8oz. and grown to 22 inches. She is growing out of clothes already. She's already holding her own head up most of the time, and started smiling a few weeks ago.

I have to say honestly, for not having sewn anything except for simple curtains or duvet covers in the past ten...I mean twelve years (who knows maybe more), I managed to sew a pretty nice costume for my son. He wanted to be a monster this year; having seen Monsters Inc. several times a few weeks back. Do you think I could find a costume? Nothing that a nearly three year old would ever wear. Why couldn't he have been a ghost? I can handle cutting a couple of holes in a bed sheet - I have many collecting moth balls in the linen closet. He kept running around saying he wants to be a monster and jump out of the closet and scare people. He was also starting to understand the idea of Halloween too. Well last Saturday I went to Fabricland to seek out a pattern to make him a monster costume (his idea remember). I think it went well; considering the only thing I could find was a dinosaur/dragon costume that I figured would fall into his category of monster. My choices were a size 2 (too small) and a 7-8 (way too big) - I spent Sunday afternoon modifying the 7-8 to something more his size, but also trying to leave room in case he had to wear his snow suit. Admittedly the idea of sewing again, and passing it off as something descent, was really scary. After many hours; too many to count, I finished his costume around 5:30 last night; just in time to have some dinner and take our son out on his first official Trick or Treat of Halloween. Last year's Indian costume was cute, but Stirling had a tantrum just before we were going to head out and we couldn't leave the house. So that was it for last year. He did well - pretty good haul this year, heh heh. I think that said everything went quite well, costume included. I think I might make him a costume next year too; I was so glad when it was all over, but seeing him in his costume walking down the street to the next house, it was one of the those warm fuzzy moments. I was so happy he was having a good time. HAPPY HALLOWEEN!

Here are the photos that I promised, finally.

Our little Madison was three weeks old yesterday, already! It's going by again so quickly. So far she has been on a four hour feeding schedule, which has made late night feedings minimal and mostly bearable. Her first appointment with the pediatrician went well, she hadn't lost any of her birth weight - boggled my mind that they weighed her in grams. My mom's neighbour is convinced I have this big Buddha baby (as she called her) because of her birth weight; she is very long, not in the least chubby.
Going back three weeks I may not have ever seen my little girl. I'm not a religious person, but I thank god that I am still here. A few complications arose during little Madison's speedy delivery. Many of these things I was unaware of until after the fact. Earlier that day I had been to see my ob-gyn and she had stripped the membranes to hopefully make me go into labor sooner than later. It worked rather well assisted with some shopping, as by 1pm I was starting to have contractions. By four my contractions were between four and five minutes apart. Finally got to the hospital just after five and was delivering by 8:37. Little Madison was face up with the cord around her neck when she was being delivered at which point the doctor's had me deliver her quite quickly. I didn't know I could push so hard but I did. At the time I new she was face up and that was all. The afterbirth is where things went a little downhill for me. I delivered everything well, but the bleeding wouldn't stop. I couldn't recall how much I bled when I had Stirling, but to me it didn't seem anything out of the ordinary. I have a large fibroid in my uterus that can contribute to heavier bleeding (or at least that's where my mind was going with this). I didn't realize it was that bad until the nurse did another shove into my gut to clean things out, when I gushed all over the intern, the floor, the walls - leaving everyone a little shocked. The doctors were trying to be hush hush, thinking they were tricking me with their doctor code - PPH - hemorrhaging basically, I got the just of it. They were trying to pump me full of drugs to keep me from bleeding to death basically. At the same time I am trying to swallow pills I'm starting to not feel well, and end up getting sick several times. Pretty much after they gave me more pills to take; another IV is stuck into my other arm, just in case...just in case what? I'm not sure and not sure if I really want to know. It took quite sometime for the bleeding to stop; my husband holding our daughter; the look on his face should have told me that things weren't going so well. Then for some reason (which I later learn was my body going into shock from losing so much blood)I start to shake uncontrollably; like I suddenly had a case of really bad shivers. A little warm saline helped that. It was hours before I actually got to hold Madison, and a long night of "checks" were a head of me. When David told me what had transpired the next day, I knew what had happened but didn't want to think of what could have happened. It scared(s) the hell out of me, and took me this long to write it down. I really don't want to think about it, I just want to enjoy what I have; a beautiful baby girl, blonde hair and blue eyes, my perfect little angel. I'm so much more thankful for what I have.

IT'S A GIRL!

Madison K. Forsey
9lbs. 7oz.
53cm (not sure how many inches that is yet)
September 25, 2007 8:37PM - sorry Carrie :o(
Blue Eyes
Blonde hair

pics to come

38 Weeks and counting. No baby has made its entrance into the world yet. My date of the 13th has come and gone; next date is David's on the 19th. I have to say we are all getting anxious; I would rather be up feeding a baby in the middle of the night then just lying in bed awake in the middle of the night wondering what to do. At least there would be a purpose behind not sleeping.

I spent five hours shopping on Friday, no use....I helped to paint the deck (sitting I might add) just the little spots the roller couldn't get, which didn't work either. David and Stirling did the rest. Stirling was up promptly at 6am this morning, the nights are getting longer and he is getting up earlier.

We are pretty much ready for this baby to arrive, I just wish it were sooner than later, I am beyond uncomfortable most days and tired beyond belief most days. I can't wait.

We are putting off decorating the baby's room until we know what the sex is. It has been furnished, and that is about it.

For Tracy:


Basil Pesto Burgers
Makes: 4 large patties approx.

1/4 cup diced onion
1 cup sliced mushrooms
1 tbsp. fresh basil or 1/4 tsp. dried
salt and pepper to taste
sautee with 1 tbsp. oil and 1 tbsp. butter until onions are translucent and the mushrooms reduce by half; set aside

in a medium size bowl mix together
1/2 lb. ground beef
1/2 lb. ground pork
1/4 cup basil pesto
1/4 cup fresh grated parmesan
1/2 cup bread crumbs
1 egg slightly beaten
1/2 tsp. salt
1/4 tsp. pepper
add mushroom mixture and mix until evenly combined

form into equal portions (approx. 4) and cook in 2 tbsp. oil on medium heat approx. 5-7 minutes per side, depending on thickness

best served with baby greens and a balsamic vinagrette

Stirling got his report card for swimming today! He and I have been involved in a Parent/Tot class at Bonniedoon Pool for the past two weeks. It was a great experience; usual Stirlingness aside we had a great time. He was doing so well I am considering getting involved in the next classes that would be appropriate for a boy his age. However, I'm not sure if he was swimming because he wanted to or if he was more interested in the gummy worms/lifesavers that came after class on the trip home.

Our first class; Stirling discovers the candy machine promptly inside the main doors to the facility. Not only that, he chose what he wanted to have....gummy worms; two dollar sour-gummy worms I might add. Reluctantly after class...I gave in and bought them, he was so good, why not? Since that day I have heard to no end, about eating worms after class (which I promptly bought a cheaper alternative that seem to last three times as long - gummy lifesavers - still on the first bag, limiting him to so many on the trip home so he could have it another day). A few times we were early and I would have us wait in the car - less distractions - everyone and anyone who walked into the pool he would say "Hey, they're going to steal my candy!" Repeatedly I explained how the candy machine works - and he still said the same thing yesterday.

Another interesting thing that occurred. During the course of our classes we walked in to discover a blind woman with a beautiful golden retriever heading in the opposite direction. Try explaining to a 33 month old that he is not to touch the dog because he is a working dog. First attempt ended with me dragging him into the change room, trying to console and explain the reasoning behind this situation. That took some time, but he now understands that some people need dogs to help them to see, and we are not to pet a dog who is working, we may distract him and the person could get hurt. Normally we were running into them in the hall, and today we were running a little behind, so she was already outside waiting for a ride with that handsome old dog (you know when the hair gets that peppery look, but underneath its still this nice coat of gold), Stirling looks at the dog and says "The doggy is working mommy". I love how much he seems to absorb from things I tell him already. He can count to ten, but has an affliction to the number 6....he never says it, lol. He can name so many pictures and people, his memory is better than mine some days.

35 weeks and counting, I think the baby has dropped, so hopefully he/she will show up in the next three to four weeks. I'm still aiming for September 13, but my doctor ensures that it probably won't be until closer to September 26. I'm still not sleeping much; between braxton hicks, the baby poking me and shoving me in the most uncomfortable spots, and really bad indigestion, things are not so bad. The pool has been my caffeine for the past two weeks (bloody cold), I will miss it dearly.

I fear summer is gone. One day of rain and the season seems to have come to an abrupt halt. We need rain more than anything, so yesterday's anslot was acceptable. It could be worse - our city could be submerged under bacteria infested waters. I love the newspapers reactions of "we are unsure if this is directly linked to global warming"; okay I'm no scientist and I could make an informative decision and say "definitely so". How can these people not link the bazaar weather around the world with global warming, didn't they pay attention in science class?

On a happier note, David and I will be celebrating our five year anniversary in a couple of weeks, funny how it always seems like a blustery fall day on that day; our wedding day it could have snowed; it was very cold, windy and raining. It was a wonderful day for us - weather aside.

With the heat slowly subsiding I find myself still deprived of a good nights sleep. Braxton hicks, and constant belly flops from this little one give me no peace. My doctor says my due date isn't until September 26, but my measurements put me a week or so ahead, and I swore my ultrasound put me ahead as well. I'm thinking between the 13 and 20 of September, any longer and I think I will find means to go into labor. You can tell that I already have a toddler - I'm telling this one to sit still and its still inside me.

David and I are throwing around names - I like the name Madison if its a girl. We have discussed Scott if it's a boy, but I love Jack, after my great grandfather. If we keep with the way we came to choose Stirling's name; it will be Scott for sure, with my dad's name for the middle, probably no matter the first. Stirling's name came from my mother in-laws maiden name; Scott is my mom's maiden name.

My grandparent's are planning a visit at Christmas time to see everyone and meet the new baby of course. I'm so glad we have a large dining room and table that sits eight, there will be twelve of us this year including the kids. I will not be allowing courses to be cooked elsewhere this year. We really missed the smell of turkey roasting in the oven; wafting through the house on Christmas Day. Honestly, I like my stuffing better too I suppose.

I'm so thankful that I am still quite mobile this pregnancy. I try to do what I can in a day to maintain the house, lets just say that I started cleaning house on Wednesday and I hope to finish today. Here's a questions for the day - how do you keep glass/mirrors etc. clean for longer than an hour with 1 toddler, 1 large dog, and 2 persistent cats? Hopefully I can figure it out before the new addition is at crawling/standing faze.

Well I hit the twenty nine week mark on Thursday; happily to report that so far everything is going smoothly. I went on medical leave last month as a precautionary measure, and also got the steroid shots too. My last ultrasound results were good; fibroid has grown a bit since last ultrasound, but it is to be expected. What is with this heat? Why did I have to be big and pregnant during one our hottest summers (or so it seems)?
My son is finally setting in the tantrum faze of his life. Car rides can be a hazard and god forbid he see anything he wants. We took him the zoo last weekend, that was the shortest trip I've been on. Our son has a had a severe obsession with trains and has had this since he saw The Polar Express last Christmas; in the beginning we had to deal with watching "Big Choo Choo" almost none stop every day for a couple of months. Not wanting to listen to Christmas carols with no snow any longer on the ground, we have insisted that if he must watch it, he must save it for the weekend, and it can only be viewed once. A parent should not know this type of movie thoroughly enough to recite it while its playing. Sorry, back to the zoo. The zoo has a train ride, but the station isn't in one place so it's not on the map that they provide you when you enter the zoo. While still trying to find where the station was on this day, the train would pass us by and he would say "my choo choo" getting more annoyed and talking louder everytime he saw it. Finally we found the station, waited in line, gave the "engineer" our tickets to ride on this little electric train. As we are about to sit in the little 2 1/2 foot by 4 foot box, I mean rail car, Stirling starts screaming at the top of his lungs that he wants and will drive the train! Well that won't work; there is just enough room in the engine for the engineer to sit and that is all, not even telling him the dangers of why he can't sit there. We had to get our tickets back; next train wasn't for over an hour, Stirling's screaming about wanting to drive the choo choo train intensifying by the second, and he just would not stop. Parents ideas about talking calmly and rationally to your child doesn't always work, and almost always, as of late, ends up with one of us on the receiving end of smacks, kicks, pinches, etc. Let's just say we found a way to get back to the car as quickly as possible, with Stirling slapping dad most of the way to the car. Hmmm, not sure when we will try that one again.
David just reminded me about the other day when Stirling said he wanted to ride in a airplane that was flying overhead....why so he can yell at us that he can't drive it too? We've been trying to keep his train obsession at bay; we've taken him to the Fort twice to ride the train and he loves that. We'll try it again; but even after the last visit he had a break-down in the car because he wanted to ride the train still and continued to scream all the way home. Also leaving a shoe print on my arm and good bloody scratch on my chin before we managed to get him to go down for a nap. I didn't realize how strong he could get.
This week he was farely well behaved, although yesterday I tried to tell him no for something and his voice just got louder and louder, repeating the same thing, finally I just told him no loud enough for him to hear over his ranting. At his point he starts crying and saying "I want daddy". He's bad for that; he thinks that if one us gives him heck for something, the other parent will comfort and allow the bad deed to continue. Boy, does he ever seem surprised when we support each other on issues. We don't waiver. One of us will send him to his room for a timeout, and all you will hear is him saying "Mommy" or "Daddy" the opposite of whoever sent him there in the first place.
Holy cow what a rant just to talk about Stirling's tantrums.
I have OB appointments every two weeks now, I think my due date is September 13th, but the OB says around the 19th. I'm getting excited, but would feel more at ease knowing if and when my EI will begin. The baby's room is still a mess and there is so much I want to buy. David and I don't know what the sex of the baby is, but I think we will repeat the Classic Pooh theme as we had for Stirling as a baby. I'm hoping it's a boy, but a girl would be okay too. She would just have to wear barrets to distinguish her from boys - the cloths will confuse people I'm sure. I have kept all of Stirling's wardrobe so far and it would be much cheaper to reuse it all.
Anyhow, I must run; a friend is stopping by to use our email; his is down. I'll try to post more often.

The latest picture of Stirling and I taken a few weeks ago. I'm really showing now. I will post a better shot once I've downloaded all of the pics off of my camera.
Summer is already getting to me, and it's not even officially here yet. I'm done with the sinus infections, water retention, migraines and vomitting that I have been agonized with over the past 23 weeks.
I've officially retired most of my clothing to a rubbermaid container, and no matter what I eat or don't eat I can't stop gaining weight. I'm averaging 2 lbs. a week so far...at this rate I'm gonna be huge in four more months. They'll be wheeling me out on a stretcher just to get me to the hospital. My mom said I looked bigger than a woman she saw today, who's expecting twins a couple weeks after I am due. Hmmmm. Twins are usually smaller right?

I couldn't believe how out of touch I was with what was going on in everyone's lives until today. I just discovered that a dear acquaintance had passed away only not even a week ago. Having left the HD family in September I haven't had much contact with many people. I was just brought to tears learning of Brad and his family's ordeal and couldn't believe it. At the time all I could think of was "oh my god" and cry. I have lost loved ones in the past, and still don't feel right saying I know how everyone feels; everyone deals with loss in different ways. I would like to remember Brad for the funny, sometimes charming young man that he was. He was always around to make you smile even when the rest of the world made you want to scream. He will be greatly missed. I hope he can make us laugh when we meet again in another life, on another plane of existence.